The Fig Tree Dilemma

There’s this passage in The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. When you want everything, but can't have it all.

If you’ve read it, you know the one. If not, I'm going to tell you all about it, so get comfortable.

I'm talking about the fig tree analogy.

It describes a woman - Esther, Plath’s protagonist - sitting in front of a fig tree, starving because she cannot decide which fig to pick.

Each fig represents a different life path...

• A brilliant career.

• A loving family.

• Fame and artistic success.

• Adventure and travel.

• Security and stability.

She wants them all.

But instead of choosing, she sits there, paralyzed, watching as the figs shrivel and drop to the ground, one by one, lost forever.

And if that doesn’t feel like the most accurate representation of modern ambition, I don’t know what does.

1. The Modern Dilemma of Wanting Everything but Achieving Nothing

If you’re someone with a million interests, passions, and ambitions, you’ve probably felt this.

The crippling indecision. The feeling that if you choose one thing, you’re closing the door on everything else.

Because what if:

• You go all-in on one passion, but it turns out you were meant for something else?

• You choose security and stability, but die full of regrets?

• You chase your dreams, but burn out and end up struggling?

We live in a world where we’re told we can do anything, but nobody ever tells us how to deal with the fact that we can’t do everything.

And that reality?

Terrifying.

At least, to me it is.

2. The Fear of Making the Wrong Choice (And The Paralysis That Comes With It)

The problem isn’t that we lack options.

It’s that we have too many.

• We can study anything, switch careers at any time, start a side hustle, pick up new hobbies, explore different passions.

• We can move to a new city, change our aesthetic, reinvent ourselves overnight.

• We can watch other people’s lives on social media and think, Maybe that’s what I want instead?

And because of that, we’re always one decision away from a completely different life.

Which sounds exciting - until you realize that every choice you make means letting go of a dozen other possibilities.

So instead of choosing, we do what Esther does in The Bell Jar:

We hesitate.

We sit there, waiting for some magical moment of clarity, and in doing so, we let opportunities slip away.

Not because we weren’t capable.

Not because we weren’t good enough.

But because we were too afraid of picking the wrong thing.

And that’s the real tragedy.

3. The Lie We’ve Been Sold: That There’s a “Right” Choice

Maybe part of the reason we struggle so much with choosing is that we think there’s a right answer.

We think there’s:

• One perfect path that will fulfill us completely.

• One dream job that will make us feel whole.

• One passion that is our “true calling.”

But what if that’s not true? 👀

What if, instead of one perfect fig, life is about choosing, adapting, and making meaning out of whatever path we take?

Because the reality is:

• No single choice will ever fulfill every part of you.

• Every life path comes with trade-offs.

• You will always wonder about the roads not taken.

But that doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice.

It just means you’re human.

4. What Happens If We Just… Pick a Fig?

What would happen if, instead of agonizing over the perfect choice, we just picked something and went all in.

If we let go of the fantasy of the perfect life and embraced the messy, imperfect reality of the one we’re choosing.

If we trusted ourselves enough to adapt instead of assuming we’ll regret everything.

If we accepted that some dreams will be left behind—and that’s okay.

Because here’s the truth:

The figs will always fall.

Not choosing doesn’t stop that from happening.

It just means you don’t get to taste any of them.